Overcoming my fear of bugs
I have been having difficulty dealing with insects since I was young. It isn't just a fear, it's more like a full-blown phobia.
Some boys in my elementary school would chase me with bugs in their hands just to make fun of my reaction, but for me, it was the most horrifying memory in my entire childhood. My mother is the same way. She still cannot handle being near any insects; she freaks out every time she encounters them. Having grown up with her example might be the biggest cause of my reaction to bugs, but I am still not sure of the true cause.
A few weeks ago, I decided to deal with my phobia and my day-to-day problems with bugs being around me. I was tired of my daily housework turning into a nightmare by an invasion of summer insects. If I wasn't so afraid of them, I could open the windows whenever I want and my quality of life would be highly improved. My husband would be more relaxed and happier because he wouldn't have to deal with every tiny fly and ant I see.
I started by searching the Internet for tips to overcome my fear.
At first, because of my deep-seated phobia, it seemed almost impossible to wipe all the negative thoughts and fear out of my mind.
Here's what I have been practising to get rid of my bug phobia:
1. The enemy is not them, it's the illusions I have about them
For me, this was the most important step.
Let's calm down and stop fighting with bugs for a minute. What am I fighting with? They are not monsters, only small creatures. I need to be calm and analyse the situation-whether I really need to take action (if they're poisoning or harmful)-or not. If not, what's the point of fighting them?
2. Choose the right approach to get comfortable with them
Some of the online articles suggested getting to know more about the 'fear factors', to become desensitized to them, but I believe this method might work better for minor fears than for severe phobias. I had been trying this method since I was eight years old to overcome my phobia of moths, but it resulted in me disliking them even more. As a child, I even came up with the idea to create a paper glider with moth-shaped design, just to try to minimize the phobia by combining it with something I was interested in. But this didn't work, either. The whole time I was feeling sick to my stomach.
Reading a book or encyclopaedia with colourful photos produced the same result. I could learn what was harmful and not, but I also lost my appetite and suffered from nightmares featuring moths. For the people who really cannot stand the objects that provoke their fears, I suggest trying an easier approach, rather than torturing themselves.
The important point is realising that overcoming a fear doesn't have to include learning to love or even to like the objects of fear, but to learn to be able to handle the situation without any difficulties.
3. Affirmations. "I am powerful!" "I can handle it!" and..."I'm the monster!"
Once I calm down and analyse the situation I am facing, I tell myself that "I am so much bigger, heavier, and scarier than they are!", "To them, I'm like a monster!". I don't know if these are truly affirmation lines but it helps me to feel strong and brave enough to handle any kind of situation.
4. Still fear them? Let's name a bug and talk to one of them
After I feel so big and brave, I will name them and call them by their names.
I don't mean to name them individually, but generally. I usually call them "Little buggy", "Buggy-chan" ('little miss' in Japanese) and imagine that I am communicating with them, such as "Oh, you must be lost...poor buggy-chan...here, go outside."
By doing this, I can establish some feelings of compassion towards them and it will help to ease the fear or hatred against them.
5. Meditation
I meditate every day. It has become part of my life now. A few months ago, a beautifully-coloured bug appeared during my meditation and suddenly stung me. I was surprised but at least it wasn't painful.
Recently, I tried to engage with this particular bug in my meditation and told 'her' (I named her 'Queen of the Bugs') that I only wanted to stay in my living space peacefully. At this time, my whole apartment building had a termite problem, and there were thousands of them flying around outside of the building. Since my unit is on a lower level, our balcony was totally occupied by them. But, after our 'peace talk' in my meditation, they mysteriously disappeared. There were no termite prevention measures taken on my balcony or outside of my unit, and I don't know how to explain it, but it seemed to work for me.
Now, I am not afraid of bugs and I don't notice their presence so often. I can open my windows without being anxious about bugs coming in. I don't fight with them because they're not invaders. They are conscious entities.
The biggest thing I learnt from overcoming the bug phobia is that fear can be completely controlled.
It is not easy to face the fear and deal with it, but being constantly surrounded by the shadow of fear would be even more frightening and painful. Now I know that I will never let the fear control my life and I will always have the power to handle it by myself. Experiencing fear is frightening but it can also be an opportunity that knocks on our door to discover our potential.
It'll take a long time for me to make bugs my favourite friends, but for now, I'm able to thank them for scaring me enough to go on to open my door and overcome a fear.
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Latest from Yuko Takara
I am terribly scared of bugs, all of them! Growing up in New Orleans where there are large flying roaches has surely had some impact. Thank you for this post. I am going to try your methods to overcome my fear. It has really gotten worse and I need to get it under control... wish me luck :)
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