We all remember the mixture of emotions that going back to school often brings. You're excited but disappointed that summer's over -- all at the same time. Whether their summer was jam-packed with activities or filled with complaints of boredom, many kids of all ages have a hard time making the transition from pool to school. Parents can help their children (and the rest of the family) manage the increased pace of life by planning ahead, being realistic, and maintaining a positive attitude. Getting a new school year off to a good start can influence children's attitudes, confidence, and performance. Here are some suggestions to ease the transition and support a successful school experience:
(1) Before School Starts
As with any new situation, allow your child time to adjust. Remind your child that everyone feels a little nervous about the first day of school and that it will all become an everyday routine in no time. Stress the positive things about going back to school, such as hanging out with old friends, meeting new classmates, buying cool school supplies, and showing off the new fall duds (or snazzy accessories if your child has to wear a uniform).
It's also important to talk to kids about what worries them and offer support: Are they afraid they won't make new friends or get along with their teachers? Is the thought of schoolwork stressing them out? Are they worried about the bully from last year?
You may want to consider adjusting your own schedule to make the change easier. It really helps for parents to be home at the end of the school day for the first week. But many working moms and dads just can't do that. If you can't be there when school lets out, try to arrange your evenings so that you're able to give your child as much time as he or she needs.
If your child is starting a new school, contact the school before the first day to arrange a day and time to visit. Ask if your child can be paired up with another student, or "buddy," to help your child get acquainted with the new people and surroundings, suggests the American Academy of Pediatrics. Some schools may provide maps that your child can use until their new surroundings become familiar.
(2) What Kids Can Do
To help keep kids' back-to-school butterflies at bay, try to transition your child into a consistent school-night routine one or two weeks before school starts. It's also a good idea to make sure kids:
· Get enough sleep. (Establish a reasonable bedtime so that they'll be well rested and ready to learn in the morning.)
· Eat a healthy breakfast. (Kids are more alert and do better in school if they eat a good breakfast every day.)
· Write down the need-to-know information to help them remember all of the details, including their locker combination, what time classes and lunch start and end, their homeroom and classroom numbers, teachers' and/or bus driver's names, etc.
· Have students use a wall calendar or personal planner to record when assignments are due, tests will be given, extracurricular practices and rehearsals will be held, and so forth.
· Have them organize and set out what they need for the school day the night before.
· Select a spot to keep backpacks, lunch boxes, etc., as well as a place for your child to put important notices and information sent home for you to see. Explain that emptying their backpack each evening is part of their responsibility, even for young children.
(3) What Parents Can Do
· Be sure your child is in good physical and mental health. Schedule doctor and dental checkups early. Discuss with your pediatrician any concerns you have over your child's emotional or psychological development. Your child will benefit if you can identify and begin addressing possible issues before school starts.
· Review all of the information sent by the schools as soon as it arrives. These packets include important information on your child's teacher, room number, school supply requirements, signups for after-school sports and activities, school calendar dates, bus transportation, health and emergency forms, and volunteer opportunities.
· Mark your calendar with important dates. This is especially important if you have children in more than one school and need to juggle obligations. Arrange for a babysitter now, if necessary.
· Make copies of all health and emergency information for your reference later. Health forms are usually good for more than a year and can be used again for camps, extracurricular activities, and the following school year.
· Buy school supplies early and fill the backpacks a week or two before school starts. Older children can help do this, but make sure they use a checklist that you can review. Some teachers require specific supplies, so save receipts for items that may need to be returned.
· Set bedtime and mealtime routines (including breakfast) at least one week before school starts. Prepare your children for this change by talking to them about the benefits of school routines. Include pre-bedtime reading and household chores, if these were suspended during the summer.
· Encourage your children to play quiet games, do puzzles, use flash cards, color, or read as their early-morning activities, instead of watching television. This will help ease them into the learning process and school activities. Try to maintain this practice throughout the school year. Television is distracting for many children and they will arrive at school better prepared to learn each morning if they have engaged in fewer passive activities.
· Visit school with your child if they are young or new to the school. Meeting their teacher and locating their classroom, locker, and lunchroom will help ease anxieties and also allow the child to ask questions about his or her new environment. Call ahead to make sure the teacher will be available to say "hello" to your child.
· Minimize clothes shopping woes by buying only the essentials. Summer clothes are usually fine during the early fall, but be sure to have at least one pair of sturdy shoes. Check with your school to confirm dress code guidelines or uniform requirements.
· Choose and clear a place to do homework. Older children should have the option to study in their room or a quiet area of the house. Younger children usually need an area set aside in the family room or kitchen to enable adult monitoring, supervision, and encouragement.
· Freeze a few easy dinners so that meal preparation won't add to household tension during the first week of school.
(4) Back-to-School To-Do List
It's understandable that parents themselves will be a little nervous about the first day of school, especially if they're seeing their little one off for the first time or if their child will be attending a new school. To help make going to school a little easier on both of you, here's a handy checklist:
What to wear, bring, and eat
· Does your child's school have a dress code or require students to wear uniforms? Are there certain things he or she can't wear?
· Will your child need a change of clothes for PE or art class?
· Does your child have a safe backpack that's lightweight, with two wide, padded shoulder straps, a waist belt, a padded back, and multiple compartments?
· Does your child know not to overload his or her backpack and to be sure it's stowed safely at home and school?
· Will your child buy lunch at school, bring it from home, or receive free lunch at school? If he or she buys a hot lunch, how much will it cost per day or per week? Do you have a weekly or monthly menu of what will be served?
· Have you stocked up on all of the necessary school supplies? (Letting kids pick out a new lunchbox and a set of pens, pencils, binders, etc., helps get them geared up for going back to school.)
Medical issues
· Has your child received all of the necessary immunizations?
· Have you filled out any forms that the school has sent home, such as emergency contact and health information forms?
· Do the school nurse and your child's teacher know about any medical conditions your child may have, particularly food allergies, asthma, diabetes, and any other conditions that may need to be managed?
· Have you made arrangements with the school nurse to administer any medications your child might need on the first day or regularly throughout the school year?
· Does your child's teacher know about any conditions that may affect how your child learns? For example, a child with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) should be seated in the front of the room, and a child with vision problems should sit near the board.
Transportation and safety
· Do you know what time school starts and how your child will get there?
· If your child will be riding the bus, do you know where the bus stop is and what time he or she will be picked up and dropped off?
· Do you know where the school's designated drop-off and pick-up area is?
· Are there any regulations on bicycles or other vehicles, such as scooters?
· Have you gone over traffic safety information, stressing the importance of crossing at the crosswalk (never between parked cars or in front of the school bus), waiting for the bus to stop before approaching it, and understanding traffic signals and signs?
· If your child walks or bikes to school, have you asked a friend or classmate to accompany him or her? Have you mapped out a safe route?
· If your child walks or bikes to school, does he or she understand that it's never OK to accept rides, candy, or any other type of invitation from anyone he or she doesn't know?
(5) The First Week
· Clear your own schedule. If possible, postpone business trips, volunteer meetings, extra projects, etc. You want to be free to help your child adjust to the school routine and overcome the confusion or anxiety that many children experience at the start of a new school year.
· Make lunches the night before school. Older children should help or make their own. Give them the option to buy lunch in school if they prefer and finances permit.
· Have school-age children set their own alarm clock to get up in the morning. Praise them for prompt response to morning schedules and bus pick-ups.
· Leave plenty of extra time to get up, eat breakfast, and get to school. For very young children taking the bus, tape inside their pencil box or backpack an index card with their information, including their teacher's name and bus number, as well as your daytime contact information.
· Review with your child what to do if they get home after school and you are not there. Be very specific, particularly with young children. Put a note card in their backpack with the name(s) and number(s) of a neighbor who is home during the day as well as a number where you can be reached. If you have not already done so, have your child meet their neighbor contacts to reaffirm their backup support personally.
· Review your child's schoolbooks with them and talk about what they will be learning during the year. Share your enthusiasm for subject matters and their ability to master the content. Reinforce the natural progression of the learning process that occurs over the school year. Learning skills take time and repetition. Encourage your child to be patient, attentive, and positive.
· Send a brief note to your child's teacher letting them know that you are interested in getting regular feedback on how and what your child is doing in school. Be sure to attend back-to-school night and introduce yourself to the teacher. Find out how they like to communicate with parents -- for example, through notes, e-mail, or phone calls. Convey a sincere desire to be a partner with your child's teacher to enhance their learning experience.
· Get to know the other professionals in the building or district who can be a resource for your child. Learn their roles and how best to access their help if you need them. This can include the principal and front-office personnel, school psychologist, counselor, social worker, the reading specialist, speech therapist, school nurse, and the after-school activities coordinator.
(6) After-School Time
Figuring out where your child will go each day after school is out can be a challenge, especially if both parents work. Depending on your child's age and maturity, you may need to arrange for after-school transportation and care. It's important for younger children and preteens to have some sort of supervision from a responsible adult after school. If you can't be there as soon as school's out, as many parents who work full-time can't, ask a reliable, responsible relative, friend, or neighbor to help out, or arrange for after-school care or activities with a child-care provider, at school or at a community center. If your child will be picked up after school, make sure he or she knows where to meet you or another caregiver.
Although it might seem like children who are approaching adolescence are becoming mature enough to start watching themselves after school, even kids as old as 11 or 12 may not be ready to be left alone. Many mature teens can be left alone in the afternoons, but it's important for parents to establish clear rules:
· Set a time when your teen is expected to arrive home from school.
· Have your teen check in with you or a neighbor as soon as he or she gets home.
· Specify who, if anyone at all, is allowed in your home when you're not there.
· Make sure your teen knows to never open the door to strangers.
· Make sure your teen knows what to do in an emergency.
To ensure that kids are safe and entertained after the closing bell rings, consider sending your child to an after-school program. You can choose one with a general child-care setting or one with activity-oriented programs that will enrich your child. (Options range from athletic to academic to artistic.) Some after-school programs are privately operated and others by the school itself. Churches, synagogues, mosques, police athletic leagues, YMCAs, community and youth centers, and parks and recreation departments also operate such programs.
Be sure to look into the child-staff ratio at any after-school program. (In other words, make sure that there are enough adults per child.) Also, ensure that the facilities are safe, indoors and out. And kids going to an after-school program should know who will pick them up when school lets out and when the after-school program ends.
When Choosing Extracurricular Activities
· Go for quality, not quantity. Your child will get the most from one or two activities that are fun, reinforce their social development, and teach new skills. Keep an eye on your child's schedule to make sure he or she has enough time for both schoolwork and home life.
· Consider your family schedule and personal energy level. Multiple activities per child may be too much to manage, particularly if they have overlapping times, separate locations, require your attendance, and/or disrupt family time.
· To minimize driving, select activities that permit carpooling or choose activities that occur at the school site.
· If your child doesn't want to participate in regular, organized extracurricular activities, you may want to consider other options to help build interests and social skills. For example, check out the local library for monthly reading programs, find out if your local recreation or community center offers drop-in activities, or talk to other parents and schedule regular play dates with their children.